Tag Archives: yankees

Peasant in the Outfield: My Apology to the Yankees

 

Yankees COO Lonn Trost said this about Yankee fans on WFAN while speaking about new ticket policies:

“The problem below market at a certain point is that if you buy a ticket in a very premium location and pay a substantial amount of money. It’s not that we don’t want that fan to sell it, but that fan is sitting there having paid a substantial amount of money for a ticket and [another] fan picks it up for a buck-and-a-half and sits there, and it’s frustrating to the purchaser of the full amount.”

He then followed that up with this doozy:“And quite frankly, the fan may be someone who has never sat in a premium location. So that’s a frustration to our existing fan base.”

Most people are pissed off. Not me! I just want to apologize to the people running the Yankees.

You see, back in the summer of 2009 I sat in the Legends seats at Yankee Stadium, which are the seats directly behind the dugout. I thought I was lucky to know someone who would buy those tickets on Stubhub, but looking back I was young, stupid, and naive. Being a college student with a shitty part-time job I should have known my place and not have sat there. I should have been up in the nosebleeds, or based on my state school education, in the obstructed view seats in the left field bleachers.

I sincerely hope the Yankees can forgive me. Six times I sat next to people who obviously knew more about the Yankees and baseball than me, because they were able to focus on their lobster dishes without even looking at the game. Stupid me is sitting there watching the game with $20 in my pocket eating crackerjacks ready to argue balls and strikes. It’s obvious I didn’t know any better.

Those seats are so pristine that very few people should be allowed to sit in them, which seems to usually work based on the games I’ve been to. etick_seatsofgold02_412

I just want the Yankees to know that I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve grown up since then. I’m working a full-time job, so I’m able to call myself a middle class citizen, and buy tickets full price in the upper deck. I know my role now.

And to Randy Levine, for whom I held a door open at a deli near Times Square once, I have to admit that I was angry when you did not look me in the eyes and say “thank you”. Much like the seat situation, I should have known better. My lifestyle doesn’t fit with yours. Looking back I’m happy you chose to grace the peasants with your presence in the deli that day. I strive to be as good as you.

The Yankees are just trying to make us better people, people who are fit to watch other people wear pinstripes.

Just know where you should be sitting when you watch them.

 

 

 

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The Dark Knight Rises: The Return of Alex Rodriguez

a-rod-hit-his-first-home-run-of-the-year-and-now-yankees-fans-love-himForget about Matt Harvey. The Real “Dark Knight” of Gotham is Alex Rodriguez.

His story parallels the the last three Christian Bale Batman movies. Seriously think about it…

A-Rod saves the city in 2009 and delivers a world championship. Early on, Batman saves Gotham from the Scarecrow

A-Rod makes a few mistakes for PEDs, becomes the face of the steroid epidemic, and Commissioner Selig tells him to go away for a while. Batman takes the blame for Harvey Dent’s death and Commissioner Gordon tells him to go away for a while.

A-Rod works through his suspension, multiple injuries, and what seems to basically be depression as the Yankees crumble. Batman comes back from multiple injuries and his literal prison of despair to again help fight the injustice that has overtaken Gotham. A-Rod, like Batman in the third and final act, may not be as young as he once was, but he still has something left to prove to a lot of people.

There are more parallels for this story than just A-Rod being Batman.

Derek Jeter is obviously Harvey Dent. The White Knight of Gotham who saved the Yankees from the depths of nothing to bring them back to glory and restore sanity to the city. Alex Rodriguez accepted his suspension not only to sort out his own life, but to also not take away from Jeter’s last season. Jeter (Dent) gets all of the glory while Rodriguez sits in the shadows and waits until the city needs him again. I could totally see Jeter being nice in the spotlight and a total dick outside of Yankee Stadium…you know…kinda…what’s the word I’m looking for here? Oh yeah. Two-Faced.

David Ortiz is Bane. They are both roided out monsters who just mash things…well to be specific, Ortiz mashes baseballs and Bane mashes faces. Gotham hates both of them and they’ve done a lot to take the city down, whether it be by a Red Sox Championship or threatening to nuke the entire city. To be honest I’m not sure which is worse.

Madonna is Catwoman here. The woman that A-Rod has had, and I’m sure he wants again. He’ll end up in a small cafe somewhere with her as Joe Torre looks on knowingly. She may be 100 years old but she sure is still pretty damn flexible.

Yes, Joe Torre is Alfred. He was there for A-Rod during his early battles against the BoSox, and was his handler until he left in 2007. He was the older, wiser man in A-Rod’s life. Sure Torre batted him 8th against Verlander in 2006, but Alfred wasn’t always nice to Batman either. Torre has remained a part of the MLB and A-Rod’s life as the Executive VP of Baseball Operations. I’m not really sure what he does, but then again he may not either.

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Hold my calls...it's naptime

Bud Selig plays he role of Commisoner Gordon here. He knows that steroids and A-Rod make the game better and more profitable, but he has to save face. Commissioner Gordon knows the city is better with Batman but he needs to save face as well. I really hate Selig and really like Gordon so this comparison really hurt to write.

We’ll soon find out if like Batman, A-Rod returns to glory and ends up getting his own statue in monument park. (Every other player seems to get one) Only time will tell if he’s ready to sacrifice himself for his fans, and this city.

If he is, then we can finally say:

Alex Rodriguez is back. The Dark Knight Rises.

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How Bout Them Yanks? Part One

We’ve made it through a month of baseball so far and it’s already felt like a small roller coaster. I’m living and dying with each pitch and it’s not October yet so I’m pretty much screwed. For any Mets fans out there, October is the month where the good teams get to keep playing.

Here are my thoughts on some members of the Yankees roster:

Alfonso Soriano- Can he never play RF again? That would be great thank you. Also if you throw him anything but a breaking ball away you should be sent back to AAA.

John Ryan Murphy- DON’T YOU EVER CALL HIM “JR” AGAIN. Only going by his proper two first names within a name. It’s what people down south like to do I guess.

Hiroki Kuroda- Kuroda is so old, he plays for the Yankees.

Yangervis Solarte- The Venezuelan Roy Hobbs, just minus the power, wonderboy bat, gunshot wound, Robert Duvall following him around, and a secretive past that’s only known by a woman in Chicago. There goes Solarte, the best there ever was for those few days in April.

Derek Jeter- PLEASE DON’T GO I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT BASEBALL WAS LIKE BEFORE YOU I REALLY DON’T WANT BRENDAN RYAN AS OUR STARTING SS. I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE DON’T GO YET UNLESS WE TRADE FOR TULOWITSKI THEN YOU CAN GO IT’LL BE FINE.

 

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Bye, Bye, To The Second Base Guy

Let’s tarnish the great “American Pie” song by making it about Cano leaving the Yankees.
Let me set the scene, I’m on stage and as my eyes focus to the lighting around me I look out into the crowd and see only my mom sitting there. This is a strange AA meeting I stumbled into…
I start to play the guitar and sing:
A short little while ago
I can still remember
when the Mariners offered way too much
to a player that I always loved
admired from the bleachers but
he chose to go for the big, big bucks
the day
this ginger
cried
and I was singing
why, why should I say goodbye
to a player
who will later
regret the he flied
to a state where it rains like 90% of the time
singing
this will be the day that I cried
oh
this will be the day that I cried
Girardi and the book of glove
that made Cano bat above
Hafner or some other scrub
and do you believe that Robbie rolled
and that Ellsbury will stop the Yankee trolls
from arguing on message boards
well I know that we should love McCann
cause he’s got some power in those hands
he’ll smack probably 32
MAN I’ll miss Robbie’s swag-a-tude
I was a lonely creature in the bronx
with a pink Yankee hat that I picked up
but I knew we were out of luck
the day
this ginger
cried
and I was singing
why, why should I say goodbye
to a player
who will later
regret the he flied
to a state where it rains like 90% of the time
singing
this will be the day that I cried
oh
this will be the day that I cried

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Ellsburied?

nesn.com

You know when a “bro” walks into a bar and is wearing a new Affliction shirt and everyone goes to him and is like “woah. That tribal is amazing!!!!” and he starts to smile and shit, and when I say shit I mean he shits his pants because he has the mental capacity of a small child with diarrhea, that’s kind of what I feel like signing Ellsbury is like. A quick jab to the mouth of the Red Sox who just won a World Series, a permanent black eye to the club who loved Ellsbury and his passion for the game, in other words, this is Johnny Damon all over again.
Not many people can argue Johnny’s performance when he was with the Yankees, he infused some much needed fun into the club house and pretty much performed at the level we expected a mid-level outfielder with the throwing capability of a cat smacking a ball on the ground to perform at. My feeling is that we are getting the same thing with Jacoby Ellsbury, a 30 year old – HOLY SHIT THIS GUY LOOKS YOUNG – outfielder with speed, power (read: moderate) and range that will make him a gold glover in a much more friendly Yankee Stadium center field. His consistent play with the Red Sox proves that he is a great player who got the money he definitely didn’t deserve, but we are talking about the Yankees who paid an aging catcher about 75 million more than he should’ve got.
The future of the Yankees is bright, as long as you consider bright to be the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel we all see when we die of old age at a nursing home. Some interesting free agent signings show the Yankees are dead-set on spending much more money than they should to attract talent that may not necessarily be needed.  Kelly Johnson is an interesting signing especially considering he is replacing a player who barely produces anything at 2b, Jayson Nix.
Losing Cano is going to hurt, that is for sure, and hopefully he goes the way of Jesus Montero and completely falls apart playing for a ball club that inexplicably has more money than the Astros and A’s combined. Truth be told the signings of Ellsbury and McCann are interesting ones that can help the Yankees sustain the inevitable collapse coming in 4 years. Both are strong willed players who have all-star potential while also being able to stay on the DL for long stretches of time, so that’s awesome, especially given the current state where 4 major players were sidelined for most of the 2013 campaign.
Ellsbury and McCann are the Band-Aid the Yankees don’t need right now, a couple of bad years while bolstering their much depleted farm system is really what they needed, but what do I know I’m writing for a website dedicated to Hank Steinbrenner, who may not actually be related to the family. It’s going to be an interesting year for the Yankees and I’m looking forward to “Bald Vinny” sucking Ellsbury’s Jacoby – a new word for dick – when he trots out to center field during roll-call and is immediately taken out of the game after two pitches when he goes to stretch his leg and his hamstring snaps.
-Rob

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Thanks for the Memories Mo

Yahoo.com

Thursday night I had the privilege of seeing the career of the great Mariano Rivera come to a close. I say privileged because Rivera is truly one of baseball’s great people. I was trying to write an article on how it was moving,  epic, or amazing, but honestly words cannot even come close to describing the feeling I had seeing him go.

I’ve been watching baseball as long as I can remember. My first MLB memory is coming out of the tunnel and seeing the green grass of Yankee Stadium as a 6 year old kid. The first full season I can somewhat remember is 1995, which was Mariano’s first season; point being, I’ve grown up watching Mariano.

Yankee fans my age have been spoiled rotten. We’ve had a baseball-less October two times since 1994, seen five World Series wins, seven pennants, and countless AL East Division Titles. The Yankee way of considering a season to be a unsuccessful one if there’s no parade down the Canyon of Heroes is ingrained in our baseball DNA, and Rivera is a part of all of that.

There was a brief moment in his final game, when Mo took mound again to warm up before the ninth inning, where the crowd died down to a hushed tone. It was as if 50,000 people all had the same thought of “this is the last time Mariano will ever be on this mound.” It was the saddest feeling I’ve ever felt watching a baseball game. Even the feeling of seeing my last game in the old Yankee Stadium (I loved that place) pales in comparison to Mariano’s night.

Lucky. Honored. Privileged. All words I can use to describe watching Rivera work his craft for his entire career. We will never see another player like him.

NY Daily News

I’m not going to try to sum up his career in a sentence, a paragraph, or even a novel. It can’t be done.

All I can say is:

Thanks for the memories Mo.

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Look Hughes Pitching

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Phil Hughes with his patented “why did the ball go over the fence again?” look

I’m going to my fourth Yankee game of the year on Monday…I know, I know pathetic right?

Phil Hughes is pitching on Monday against the White Sox, which is normal, because he’s still a member of the Yankees rotation thanks to David Phelps’ and Michael Pineda’s bum arms.

What’s not normal is that this is THE FOURTH FREAKING TIME I HAVE TO SEE PHIL HUGHES PITCH. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!?

I dealt with seeing Joba start four times in 2009, but I was helped immensely by the Yankees being the best team in baseball. This my be too much for me, especially now that essentially every game is a must win.

I don’t want a sympathy party thrown for me. I Just want to know why.

At least I’ll be sitting in the bleachers…maybe I can snag one of the five homers Hughes is due to give up.

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