Tag Archives: steroids

The Dark Knight Rises: The Return of Alex Rodriguez

a-rod-hit-his-first-home-run-of-the-year-and-now-yankees-fans-love-himForget about Matt Harvey. The Real “Dark Knight” of Gotham is Alex Rodriguez.

His story parallels the the last three Christian Bale Batman movies. Seriously think about it…

A-Rod saves the city in 2009 and delivers a world championship. Early on, Batman saves Gotham from the Scarecrow

A-Rod makes a few mistakes for PEDs, becomes the face of the steroid epidemic, and Commissioner Selig tells him to go away for a while. Batman takes the blame for Harvey Dent’s death and Commissioner Gordon tells him to go away for a while.

A-Rod works through his suspension, multiple injuries, and what seems to basically be depression as the Yankees crumble. Batman comes back from multiple injuries and his literal prison of despair to again help fight the injustice that has overtaken Gotham. A-Rod, like Batman in the third and final act, may not be as young as he once was, but he still has something left to prove to a lot of people.

There are more parallels for this story than just A-Rod being Batman.

Derek Jeter is obviously Harvey Dent. The White Knight of Gotham who saved the Yankees from the depths of nothing to bring them back to glory and restore sanity to the city. Alex Rodriguez accepted his suspension not only to sort out his own life, but to also not take away from Jeter’s last season. Jeter (Dent) gets all of the glory while Rodriguez sits in the shadows and waits until the city needs him again. I could totally see Jeter being nice in the spotlight and a total dick outside of Yankee Stadium…you know…kinda…what’s the word I’m looking for here? Oh yeah. Two-Faced.

David Ortiz is Bane. They are both roided out monsters who just mash things…well to be specific, Ortiz mashes baseballs and Bane mashes faces. Gotham hates both of them and they’ve done a lot to take the city down, whether it be by a Red Sox Championship or threatening to nuke the entire city. To be honest I’m not sure which is worse.

Madonna is Catwoman here. The woman that A-Rod has had, and I’m sure he wants again. He’ll end up in a small cafe somewhere with her as Joe Torre looks on knowingly. She may be 100 years old but she sure is still pretty damn flexible.

Yes, Joe Torre is Alfred. He was there for A-Rod during his early battles against the BoSox, and was his handler until he left in 2007. He was the older, wiser man in A-Rod’s life. Sure Torre batted him 8th against Verlander in 2006, but Alfred wasn’t always nice to Batman either. Torre has remained a part of the MLB and A-Rod’s life as the Executive VP of Baseball Operations. I’m not really sure what he does, but then again he may not either.


Hold my calls...it's naptime

Bud Selig plays he role of Commisoner Gordon here. He knows that steroids and A-Rod make the game better and more profitable, but he has to save face. Commissioner Gordon knows the city is better with Batman but he needs to save face as well. I really hate Selig and really like Gordon so this comparison really hurt to write.

We’ll soon find out if like Batman, A-Rod returns to glory and ends up getting his own statue in monument park. (Every other player seems to get one) Only time will tell if he’s ready to sacrifice himself for his fans, and this city.

If he is, then we can finally say:

Alex Rodriguez is back. The Dark Knight Rises.


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A-Rod Meets the Pope: Twitter Explodes

Alex Rodriguez finds soft landing at Mike Francesa’s WFAN studios Wednesday. YES NETWORK

Well Dressed and a Vest. Photo from NY Daily News

By now you’ve heard about new chapter the Alex Rodriguez saga. A-Rod stormed out of his arbitration hearing after MLB Commissioner Bud Selig aka”the man in Milwaukee” refused to testify. A-Rod marched right out of MLB headquarters and headed down to the WFAN studios to sit with the Pope himself: Mike Francesa.

This is when Twitter blew up; I spent almost an hour at work listening to the interview and reading the tweets regarding it. Here are the best ones, with a couple of mine sprinkled  in because I’m selfish.

WFANtrades ‏@WFANTrades1m

Say what you will about Mike. He’s killing the vest/dress shirt look. #BusinessCasualZaun

Mike Franceser ‏@MikeFrancesaNY32m

Everybody loves @AROD, ok. I told da city to believe in @AROD and da city listened. I speak foah New Yawk.

Jamie O’Grady ‏@JamieOGrady_6m

Give him this, ARod sounds far less canned and rehearsed than he ever has before. He may be schizophrenic, but he believes what he’s saying.

Mike Franceser ‏@MikeFrancesaNY7m

Im not a lawyah but dat made no sense to me, ok.

WFAN Audio ‏@WFANAudio14m

I just blew off my boss’ 4PM meeting for this. I mean, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. #MongoNation

Ross S ‏@StadiumInsider22s

Francesa is going down on A-Rod after the interview, yes? Just as friends, of course.

1st Ever FrancesaCon ‏@FrancesaCon52s

This is moah inspiring den Denzel in remembuh da titans

Mike Vaccaro ‏@MikeVacc1m

Shoeless Joe Jackson could’ve used talk radio in 1919 to sell his story. Bet Judge Landis wouldn’t have testified either.

Jonah Keri ‏@jonahkeri1m

Kids, you won’t remember this, but Mike Francesa was once a credible journalist with intelligent takes on college basketball.

E.J.Stankiewicz ‏@TheHappyRecap4m

Beginning 2016 “Mike and the Mad Rod”

Jonah Keri ‏@jonahkeri24s

Kids, you won’t remember this, but Alex Rodriguez was once a spectacularly likable shortstop for the Seattle Mariners.

B-ROE ‏@Mr_B_Roe23m

Somewhere Derek Jeter has a single tear sliding down his cheek

BarstoolJJ ‏@BarstoolJJ3m

How do we make @AROD the master of ceremonies for @FrancesaCon?

Craig Bishko ‏@The_Real_Bish1m

@FrancesaCon Are couples costumes (ARod and Zaun) allowed at the bar?

Mike Franceser ‏@MikeFrancesaNY2m

What would youah say to da man in Milwaukee? We know he is watchin, ok. Dis is on coast to coast (Take dat @KeithOlbermann)

Stacey Gotsulias ‏@StaceGots2m

This quote is amazing: Selig is “trying to destroy me. To put me on his big mantle on the way out, that’s a hell of a trophy.”

Dean McGowan ‏@deanmcgowan3m

Metta world arod

Benjamin Kabak ‏@bkabak37s

Agent Smith vs Neo wasn’t half as entertaining as this.

B-ROE ‏@Mr_B_Roe1m

Francesa missed a perfect opportunity to ask about the Centaur painting

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Ortiz may say he didnt use roids, but baseball fans arent as naive as he thinks they are

Ortiz may say he didn't use roids', but baseball fans aren't as naive as he thinks they are

David Ortiz held a press conference today in regards to accusations stemming from a failed test in 2003. 

Let me rephrase that…Today, David Ortiz held a press conference because he cheated by taking steroids to save his career after he was cut by the Minnesota Twins.

In the conference he addressed the issue (excerpts from ESPN.com)

“I’m not here to make excuses or anything,” Ortiz said Saturday during a news conference at Yankee Stadium. “I want to apologize to the fans for the distraction, my teammates, my manager. We go into a situation now, it was a nightmare to me.

“I’m one of the guys, I think about the fans, it wouldn’t be as good as it is without the fans. People look at me as a guy who hit the ball, but I try to do things the right way.”

“I definitely was a little bit careless,” Ortiz said Saturday. “I was buying supplements and vitamins over the counter … but I never buy steroids or use steroids.”

Sure David, I believe you as much as I believed Mark McGwire.  Listening to you use the overplayed “supplements” excuse is worse than hearing that you actually did steroids.  You are only digging yourself deeper into the hole you were already in.

You’re “not making excuses“….except for your statements, which were all excuses.

Don’t try to play the fan favorite card either, that doesn’t excuse what you did.  Some baseball fans may accept your apology, but this one won’t. 

For those of you thinking I am bashing Ortiz because he is on Boston, don’t worry, I have bashed A-Rod too.

Let’s just keep his statements in mind as we watch him dwindle into nothing more than a has-been. 

Without steroids, he would just be a never-was.

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What To Do On An Off-Day

So the Yankees have an off day today…..what the heck is there to do?  If you’re a Yankee fan, your day is usually planned around watching the game, so you were pretty much screwed until now.

Here are the best things to do on an off-day:


It may finally not rain in the northeast today, which is rarer than Joba reaching the eigth inning.

-Make a “David Roidtiz” shirt for this weekend-

Just make sure you wear it over your A-Rod jersey.

-Watch Yankees Classics-

Today it’s the legendary game where and I am quoting Direct TV’s info button on this one “Alex Rodriguez hits his 564th home run to pass Reggie Jackson; Yankees defeat Mets 9-1 due to numerous errors by the Mets. From June 26, 2009”.

So we have Giambi’s grand slam home run, Guidry striking out 18, Yankees- Red Sox, and then the Mets making 7 errors.  Seriously, how is that game a Yankee Classic?

Following Yankees Classics will be the highly anticipated premier of Yankeeography: Jerry Hairston Jr.

-Read a book!-

Yes, there are actually things with words on them that you don’t have to hit a power button to read. 

I highly recommend Tim Kurkjian’s: Is this a Great Game or What?

Good, funny book for baseball fans

Good, funny book for baseball fans

-Wish the Yanks had Roy Halladay-
Cause he is probably going to dominate the Yanks tomorrow
-Catch up on some sleep-
The Yanks head to the west coast soon, so you might want to rest up now.
That’s why I got one of these baby’s shipped to my house:
Micheal Jackson not included...what...too soon?

Michael Jackson not included...what...too soon? It's never too soon

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Big Papi Sippin’ Some Juice

So Big Poopi has joined the list of guys who have cheated the game of baseball.  According to the New York Times, Papi and Manny are the newest names to be released off of the 2003 steroid list.

This didn’t shock me and I hope it didn’t shock you.  Remember, Ortiz was cut by the Minnesota Twins before being signed by the Red Sox.  He put up some great steroid aided numbers but his numbers had started going down the past couple of years.

Funny how the numbers started to drop after the Mitchell Report, isn’t it?

I guess the only way to break a curse is to use steroids.

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What If? Moments That Could Have Changed Baseball History

What if….

Boston never traded Babe Ruth?

There would never have been any “1918” chants. Yankee Stadium may have been built differently. The Yankees would have still been good, but there would be no murderer’s row.

This could have possibly changed the entire Yankee organization as they would have not have had the greatest ballplayer of all time.

Boston needed the money, so maybe Ruth would have been traded somewhere else.

Would the Yankees have created such a majestic original stadium?…I doubt it.

The Yankees traded Mariano Rivera before 1996?

 Believe it or not, but the Yankees almost traded Mo before the 1996 season because they weren’t sure Jeter was ready to play SS full time.

There is no way the Yankees have their dynasty, Rivera is the most unreplaceable player from those teams. I’ll give them one World Series win instead of four.

Rivera could still be a starter right now on some other team.

Weird to think about, isn’t it?

 Baseball players never took steroids?

Our most cherished records would still be intact. Sad thing is, most of the guys who took them (A-Rod, Manny, McGuire, Bonds) would still be Hall of Fame caliber players without them.

Jose Canseco would be irrelevant.

The Minnesota Twins were contracted?

Remember when the Twins were on the chopping block? They have been consistent winners since then. Where would Mauer and Morneau be?

The All-Star game didn’t count?

It would make sense again. Seriously, that is the stupidest thing in sports…other than Bud Selig.

Buckner fielded that grounder?

The curse would have been reversed earlier and Buckner would be allowed to stay in Boston.

Mets fan would have nothing to fall back on when their team lets them down again…and again…..and again.

The 1994 strike never happened?

The two best teams at the time, the Yankees and the Expos, may have been in the World Series. The Expos may have kept their great young talent and could still be around today. Baseball would not need to have been saved in 98′.

Players didn’t lose some of their best years to WWII?

Ted Williams, Yogi Berra, Jackie Robinson, and Bob Feller, just to name a few. Their stats would be better, but this country is safer because of them and all other players who have served.

Mickey Mantle treated himself better?

Could have been the greatest player of all-time. May have broken Ruth’s home run record.

The Dodgers and Giants stayed in NY?

No Mets, which would have saved a lot of broken dreams over the past few years. We could be heralding Ebbets field and the Polo Grounds as one of the great old ballparks along with Fenway Park and Wrigley Field.

Pete Rose didn’t bet on baseball?

He’d be in the Hall of Fame as one of the most revered players of all-time.

Ken Griffey Jr. wasn’t injury prone?

I can honestly say he would be nearing 800 home runs. Still the greatest player his era, he could have possibly been the greatest of all time.

There was no Wildcard?

Boston would have not broken the curse in 2004 and the playoffs would not nearly be as interesting as they are.

The Cubs let that goat into the stadium?

The perenial losers may have actually won a World Series…which is something they will never do.

Chicks didn’t dig the longball?

There wouldn’t be a DH.




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Even the A-Rod Book Doesnt Come Through in the Clutch

Selena Roberts = Epic Fail

Selena Roberts = Epic Fail

Lets rewind a few months ago when Sports Illustrated broke the biggest story to date in Baseball when it claimed Alex Rodriguez had tested positive for Steroids.

The author of the article, Selena Roberts was all over Television and was becoming the female version of Woodward and Bernstein.

A-Rod had been found out and Selena was being looked at this great author who then was gonna hit the double play with an entire book about A-Rod that would come out right around the Opening Day for the Yankees at their new ballpark. It was gonna easily be a best-seller.

The A-Rod got hurt, so the publisher moved the date back of when the booke would debut and it seemed only perfetc to have the book come out when A-Rod returned.

Yet, as we all know….Life isnt fair.

Lets have the AP explain this further.

Remember that tell-all book about A-Rod?

Just a month after making headlines with its allegations that the New York Yankees star likely used steroids as far back as high school, Selena Roberts’ “A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez” has vanished from best seller lists.

Published in early May by HarperCollins with an announced first printing of 150,000, “A-Rod” has sold just 16,000 copies so far, according to Nielsen BookScan, which tracks about 75 percent of industry sales. The book sold 11,000 in its first week, then quickly faded.

At the Rizzoli Bookstore in midtown Manhattan, “A-Rod” has sold two copies. Twenty-seven copies have sold at Posman Books, based in Grand Central Terminal, but none in the past two weeks.

“I don’t think he’s ever been embraced by serious fans,” Logan Fox, a manager at Posman, said Wednesday. “He’s still considered an outsider.”

“A-Rod” fell off The New York Times’ hardcover list of nonfiction best sellers after three weeks, peaking at No. 9 in late May. As of Wednesday afternoon, the book ranked No. 2,904 on Amazon.com, where even James Frey’s discredited memoir “A Million Little Pieces”—at 1,776—is outselling it.

Ouch Selena, that really sucks for you.

It seems that not everyone can have their cake and eat it too. The Yankees have been rocking and rollin since A-Rod came back and he has been helping the Yankees fight for first place.

I hope the extra copies of you book keeps you warm at night Selena…..by using the books to help start a fire.

– The Falk

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