Tag Archives: mariners
With Jarrod Washburn heading to Detroit and the Victor Marinez to Boston deal just about finalized, the Yankees have lost an opportunity to land needed help from a starting pitcher. Martinez is a big name heading to Boston, which usually means the Yankees will be making a splash too.
Don’t expect any huge names to be heading to the Bronx. The biggest name that may land is Padres All-Star closer Heath Bell, who be part of the set up crew that already consists of Philthy Phil Hughes and Phil Coke. The Padres asking price for Bell is said to be pretty high so don’t expect anything to get done until the price goes down.
Brian Bannister, who is a solid starter on a Royals team that doesn’t like to score runs for him, was also rumored to be involved in a deal to NY until the Yankees asked the Royals to pay the the remaining 650 thousand bucks left on his contract.
No, that’s not a typo, the Yankees asked the Royals to pay for a contract.
The deadline is less than an hour away and it will be very interesting to see who lands in the Bronx.
The Major League Baseball season is underway and while watching the season at its infancy, I thought about some the Math equations that are involved with baseball and its teams during the upcoming season. Here are 30 Equations, one that represents every team in the Major Leagues….Enjoy.
Yankees– Yankee Bullpen – Mariano = Garbage
Red Sox– Saito + Penny + Smoltz = Boston Hospitals Rejoicing
Rays– Great Team – Fans = Tropicana Field
Blue Jays– Roy Halladay + Alex Rios = Trade Deadline
Orioles– Opening Day Win over Yankees + 65 = Win Total for 2009
Indians– Young Players x Underachievers = 2009 Season
White Sox– Ozzie – Cursing = An Off Night
Royals– Juan Cruz + Joakim Soria = An Actual Chance in Hell
Tigers– Overpaid Roster + Recssion = Fire Sale
Twins– No superstars + Ron Gardenhire= playoffs
Rangers– 200 hr’s+5.50 ERA= Last 14 years of Rangers Baseball
Mariners– Ken Griffey Junior+ old age= disabled list
Angels– Expectations x Adversity = Mike Scioscia Toughest Year Yet
Athletics– Constant Rebuilding + Bad Stadium = Forseeable Future
Phillies– Rollins + Utley + Howard = Best Clutch Team Ever
Mets– revamped bullpen+ new stadium= Phillies still win the East
Marlins– Young Team + Confidence = Dangerous Group
Nationals– Young Lineup + Garbage Pitching = More Losing in DC
Braves– Bobby Cox – 1990’s= mediocre
Cubs– Improved team+Curse= another 100 years of losing
Brewers– Pitching Staff – CC = A Joke
Pirates– (God-Awful x No Hope) / Suck= Pirates for the foreseeable future
Reds– Votto + Bruce + Volquez = The Future
Cardinals– Lineup – Pujols = No Shot
Astros– Pitching Staff – Oswalt = Disaster
Giants– CY Young winner+nobody else= no long term contract for Timmy
Dodgers– Dodgers – Manny= Still winning the west
Padres– Padres – Peavy= August 1st
Diamondbacks– Starting Pitching / Bullpen = Many Sad Endings in the Desert
Rockies– 2009 – Matt Holliday = 2007 looking more and more like a Fluke
– The Falk (and Brenden)
If you’re like me, you are still in shock over Bridget, Holly, and Kendra leaving the Playboy mansion. I think Kendra could do a lot better then Hank Baskett, hell she can turn around and find a better athlete.
Let me take your mind off the pain(yeah that’s a Major Payne reference)
Here are the teams that should either disband or pretend the 2009 season isn’t gonna happen: And how Hank would fix them
1- Washington Nationals-The nation’s Capital hasn’t been this gloomy since the British burned the White House in the War of 1812.
Hank’s Vision: Hank would lock every player in closet and bring in the the 1977 Yankees, not even Hank could win with this bunch.
2- Pittsburgh Pirates- Pirates should be plundering, but this team hasn’t signed a major free-agent since BlackBeard roamed the seven seas.
Hank’s Vision: While donning a Pirate costume, ala Jack Sparrow, He forces everyone to walk the plank….Hank is just a sucker for role playing.
3- San Diego Padres-The Friars will have to pray harder. Enjoy Peavy now, because he’ll be gone by July
Hank’s Vision: Hank would battle the Padres Closer in a Wii Fit contest to see who would could last longer….Hank quits after 1 minute because of a lack of smoke breaks.
4- Seattle Mariners- Even the godsend named Junior Griffey will not help them navigate their way back into respectability.
Hank’s Vision: Hank asks Griffey who does he want to be remembered as, a Yankee or a Toledo Mud Hen….When Griffey tells him that he plays for the Mariners, Hank burns his arm with a cigarette
5- Baltimore Orioles- The only team on this list headed in the right direction. Too bad they play in the toughest division in baseball. Enjoy last place, at least Baltimore Harbor is kinda nice.
Hank’s Vision: His job here is done, his Yankees already pound on this team 18 times a season, its just time to kick back and pull out a carton of cigs and watch the beatings continue.
Cubs: non-fitted hat, glasses, fanny-pack. You know, the type of person getting shoved into lockers at a high school.
Yankees: Loud, Obnoxious, rude, smart, wish they could chant “1918” again.
Red Sox: See above (other than the “1918” part)
Mets: Complacent, loud, fat obnoxious. They also remember 1986 better than the birth of their first child.
Rays: bandwagoneers, they didn’t know baseball existed in Tampa until last September
Marlins: Are there any?
Rangers: Cowboy hat and Cowboy boots…isn’t that what everyone wears in Texas?
Mariners: Too busy masterbating to their Ken Griffey Jr. posters to show up to the games