Tag Archives: Batman

The Dark Knight Rises: The Return of Alex Rodriguez

a-rod-hit-his-first-home-run-of-the-year-and-now-yankees-fans-love-himForget about Matt Harvey. The Real “Dark Knight” of Gotham is Alex Rodriguez.

His story parallels the the last three Christian Bale Batman movies. Seriously think about it…

A-Rod saves the city in 2009 and delivers a world championship. Early on, Batman saves Gotham from the Scarecrow

A-Rod makes a few mistakes for PEDs, becomes the face of the steroid epidemic, and Commissioner Selig tells him to go away for a while. Batman takes the blame for Harvey Dent’s death and Commissioner Gordon tells him to go away for a while.

A-Rod works through his suspension, multiple injuries, and what seems to basically be depression as the Yankees crumble. Batman comes back from multiple injuries and his literal prison of despair to again help fight the injustice that has overtaken Gotham. A-Rod, like Batman in the third and final act, may not be as young as he once was, but he still has something left to prove to a lot of people.

There are more parallels for this story than just A-Rod being Batman.

Derek Jeter is obviously Harvey Dent. The White Knight of Gotham who saved the Yankees from the depths of nothing to bring them back to glory and restore sanity to the city. Alex Rodriguez accepted his suspension not only to sort out his own life, but to also not take away from Jeter’s last season. Jeter (Dent) gets all of the glory while Rodriguez sits in the shadows and waits until the city needs him again. I could totally see Jeter being nice in the spotlight and a total dick outside of Yankee Stadium…you know…kinda…what’s the word I’m looking for here? Oh yeah. Two-Faced.

David Ortiz is Bane. They are both roided out monsters who just mash things…well to be specific, Ortiz mashes baseballs and Bane mashes faces. Gotham hates both of them and they’ve done a lot to take the city down, whether it be by a Red Sox Championship or threatening to nuke the entire city. To be honest I’m not sure which is worse.

Madonna is Catwoman here. The woman that A-Rod has had, and I’m sure he wants again. He’ll end up in a small cafe somewhere with her as Joe Torre looks on knowingly. She may be 100 years old but she sure is still pretty damn flexible.

Yes, Joe Torre is Alfred. He was there for A-Rod during his early battles against the BoSox, and was his handler until he left in 2007. He was the older, wiser man in A-Rod’s life. Sure Torre batted him 8th against Verlander in 2006, but Alfred wasn’t always nice to Batman either. Torre has remained a part of the MLB and A-Rod’s life as the Executive VP of Baseball Operations. I’m not really sure what he does, but then again he may not either.

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Hold my calls...it's naptime

Bud Selig plays he role of Commisoner Gordon here. He knows that steroids and A-Rod make the game better and more profitable, but he has to save face. Commissioner Gordon knows the city is better with Batman but he needs to save face as well. I really hate Selig and really like Gordon so this comparison really hurt to write.

We’ll soon find out if like Batman, A-Rod returns to glory and ends up getting his own statue in monument park. (Every other player seems to get one) Only time will tell if he’s ready to sacrifice himself for his fans, and this city.

If he is, then we can finally say:

Alex Rodriguez is back. The Dark Knight Rises.

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