We’ve made it through a month of baseball so far and it’s already felt like a small roller coaster. I’m living and dying with each pitch and it’s not October yet so I’m pretty much screwed. For any Mets fans out there, October is the month where the good teams get to keep playing.
Here are my thoughts on some members of the Yankees roster:
Alfonso Soriano- Can he never play RF again? That would be great thank you. Also if you throw him anything but a breaking ball away you should be sent back to AAA.
John Ryan Murphy- DON’T YOU EVER CALL HIM “JR” AGAIN. Only going by his proper two first names within a name. It’s what people down south like to do I guess.
Hiroki Kuroda- Kuroda is so old, he plays for the Yankees.
Yangervis Solarte- The Venezuelan Roy Hobbs, just minus the power, wonderboy bat, gunshot wound, Robert Duvall following him around, and a secretive past that’s only known by a woman in Chicago. There goes Solarte, the best there ever was for those few days in April.
Derek Jeter- PLEASE DON’T GO I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT BASEBALL WAS LIKE BEFORE YOU I REALLY DON’T WANT BRENDAN RYAN AS OUR STARTING SS. I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE DON’T GO YET UNLESS WE TRADE FOR TULOWITSKI THEN YOU CAN GO IT’LL BE FINE.