A Letter From Hank to Yankee Fans

Dear Yankee Fans,

I know many of you are frustrated with the team, the ticket prices and the manager, but I am telling you right now we will be ok. 

By we, I mean me, Hal, and Dad.

Sure ticket prices are through the roof.  You want to go to the games?  Get a better job, work overtime, or rob a Red Sox fan.

Obstructed views? Yeah right, who wouldn’t want to look at our ugly restaurant?

People say that I am not a charitable person….what a load of crap that is.  Last week, I gave a used cigarrette to a homeless guy.  You know who he is; he’s the guy outside the stadium who has the sign that reads: 

I ain’t gonna lie, I need the money for booze!

See, I respect that guy.  He’s honest, a straight shooter, just like me.  Hell, maybe he’ll be our next GM after I fire Cashman tomorrow.  Like I said, I’m a straight shooter.

Time for another cig,

Peace

-Hank

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